When You Work for Sybil…
Posted Mar 10, 2009 Dealing with Bosses
∞ A manager friend asked me today what he should do about his new boss.
Said new boss has been at the Director level for about two months now. In conversation, he’ll give a directive for something to take place, and a week or so later ask my friend why something was implemented in a certain way - the way he was told to do it in the first place. This has happened a handful of times since the new guy was promoted.
Last week, new boss decided it was time for a serious conversation to address the lack of respect for the way he wanted things done. When my friend pointed out, in as non-accusatory way as he was able, that he couldn’t be held accountable for changes in plans, his boss became defensive and refused to admit that this may have contributed to the issue.
My first question, of course, was, “Did you rap his head against the conference table until he saw stars and birds sense?”
Of course not.
My friend, of course, wanted to go around his boss and report the problem. I talked him down from that particular ledge. Time and place, and all that. My take on the situation, based on what I was told:
The new boss is insecure in his position. Kind of a sign he wasn’t ready for it in the first place, but hopefully he’ll grow out of it. My guess is he doesn’t understand what’s expected of him for his department, so when his bosses question him, he blames his manager and changes direction. That kind of thing snowballs into “well, why haven’t you addressed the insubordination?” And so we have a serious conversation to save face.
While that may not be dead-on, trying to go over the head of someone in a position you just tried to get is never a good idea. Instead, I suggested confirming directives through email first. Don’t accuse the guy of saving face or throwing you under the bus. Don’t seek revenge for this conversation. You’ll tank your chances for the future and look bitter if you do.
Get your instructions in writing for a bit, while you build a level of trust with the new boss and while the new boss figures out what the hell he’s doing. This can be as easy as shooting him an email after a meeting and saying “just to make sure I’m clear, you want me to do $foo and $bar. Please confirm.”
Then he’ll change his mind, but he won’t be able to hang it on you. If he tries to hold you accountable anyway - especially formally - you’ll have his written instructions to clear you. He’ll look like a jackass in the process, so don’t blow it up when you haul those emails out to defend yourself.
And, if you need to vent, I understand supply closets are great places for primal scream sessions. Not totally sound-proof, but there’s the added benefit that people won’t want to cross you later… ∞
